You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
