Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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