it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
