i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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