Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
