im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
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The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
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THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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