When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
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Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
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I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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