i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
