help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
