I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize