I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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