My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
it glows. i had to have it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
