girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
