It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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