all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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