It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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