i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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