Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i need some magic done to my vagina
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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