My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
