I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
