Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
