im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
