sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
