and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
