Whoa Z and x make the same sound
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
