It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
no, he came in my armpit
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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