Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize