Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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