Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
