How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
