I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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