As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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