Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
