I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
