Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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