ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
How external is "for external use only"?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
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