my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
