is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
