She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
