the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
