should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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