You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
