this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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