So drunk its hurt
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
