Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
