His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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