i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
