grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
