Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
