the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He passed out mid-signature
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
