I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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