I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
