brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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