I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
