it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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