I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize