Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Randomize
