Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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