I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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