ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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