dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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