Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
