I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
