worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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