You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize