Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
