It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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