can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I've blown a few things in my day
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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