And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
