i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just forgot I was standing up.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
