It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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